Oh my god I love today. Today is so awesome. Shoot I’m supposed to say oh my gosh. Oh well, holy guacamole today is awesome. I love playing!! This new house is awesome, this yard is awesome, riding my bike is totally awesome! Hey I wonder what kind of cool toys the neighbors have in their garage. Let me check it out. Hmmm, nothing too great. Let me check inside their house. Shoot is that Dad telling me to get out of this house because it’s not ours. I’m trying to look for toys dad! Oh is that our other neighbors in the driveway? Oh yeah it is and they’ve got a gift bag! Cool, let me see. Awesome, sidewalk chalk and bubbles. I love smashing the chalk, let me show these new people how good I smash. Sweet, this the big bubble maker. Let me try to make a bubble. Oh man, this bubble maker doesn’t work. I better dump it out in front of them so they know their bubbles stink. I’m gonna ride my bike, better put on my helmet. I’m gonna ram my new neighbor with my bike and she’ll try to get out of the way, she’s going to think it’s fun. Better get out of my way! Why is Dad telling me to stop? We’re having fun playing dodge the bike over here. If he tells me to stop five more times I’ll think about it. Unless he says he’s going to take my ice cream away. Oh man, I hope he doesn’t remember the ice cream. If he takes away one of my bedtime books I can deal with that, but not my ice cream man. I need that. Okay, better do something else. Hey, look at that stone hill, I wonder if my bike will stay up if I try to roll it down that hill without me on it. Oh man, wipeout! That was awesome, I want to do it again. Daddy, get my bike! It’s too heavy and I want to bring it back up the hill so I can send it down again. C’mon Daddy! Oh man, he says I’m going to break my bike doing that and if I do it again he’s taking my ice cream. Better be cool. Dinner time. I hope it’s a turkey sandwich with cucumbers and mayo. Oh man, it’s chicken. At least there’s some cucumbers on the side. Dad says I have to have five bites or no ice cream. I’m going to pretend to take big bites but actually take little tiny ones. He’ll never be able to tell. I got my ice cream! So yummy. Now daddy wants me to brush my teeth and put my pj’s on. What the heck? I’m not even tired, I just had ice cream, doesn’t he know that’s full of sugar. I better brush really good because I don’t want to go to the dentist again. I should get on top of my dresser and try to jump on the bed, I think I can definitely make it. Dad is so loud when he yells at me, jeez! Ouch! I hit my lip, that really hurts. What is that red stuff? Oh my god I’m bleeding!!! I think I’m dying. DADDY DADDY DADDY! (Twenty minutes of wailing later). That ice helped. Daddy told me he loved me and would do anything for me. I love him to, he’s a good daddy. I really want to keep playing, maybe I could build a fort out of all the clothes in my closet, that would be cool. But I’m really tired, better go to sleep. Oh I can’t wait for my slushee at school tomorrow, it’s gonna be so good! I’m getting orange and strawberry then mixing them together. It’s gonna be awesome!
Tag: dad duty
Mundane Retelling of a Day
5/18/2019 – Saturday
House all cleaned. Ready for a showing at 12:45. Best buddy and his girls are on the way. When they get here we will go out to lunch then head to a nearby park. The boys are watching Justin Time and have been for the last 3 hours. I feel bad about all the screen time but really needed to clean the house. Plus it’s educational so they’re probably getting a leg up on the competition thanks to Justin.
Yesterday we closed on our new house. So now we officially own two houses, which puts a major strain on the wallet. So we need to sell the current house soon. The former owners of our new house are renting from us through the end of July. We didn’t do a good job keeping up our current house, which I think is why we’re having trouble selling it. At the new house we will stay on top of fixing everything as soon as it goes wrong.
The realtor got the boys nets, a bucket, spelunking lights, and a box for any critters they catch at the new house. He got me a book about bird watching so I can learn about all the pretty birds we’ll see out our back window.
I got mom a surprise night away in Detroit at the Foundation hotel with her friend yesterday. They ate at Takoi, a funky Thai restaurant in Corktown. Me and the boys got cheap Chinese then went to the park. They were pretty good, but I did have to take a book away from J for dumping sand out of the sand box after I had already told him not to. After the boys were asleep I watched a couple Game of Thrones episodes. J crawled into bed with me at 5:30, and although it’s a king size bed he wanted to use my shoulder as a pillow. Fine by me. You both don’t like to be left alone at night. I wonder if we’re meant to sleep in a pack like a family of bears would do. I hate to see you both get so sad and lonely when I close the door. Hope that’s not damaging your emotional growth or something.
Solo Dad
4/29/19 – Monday
Mom is in San Diego for the Gartner Consulting conference so I’m in super Dad mode. H crawled into bed with me around five this morning and not much sleep happened between then and 6:20 when I got in the shower and turned on Blaze and the monster machines for him. When I was done with the shower J had joined H in our bed. Aside from the standard teeth pulling about teeth brushing, getting clothes on, eating, and getting out the door; it was a pretty good morning and I was ready to kick ass. On my way into work I listened to a book called “You are a badass”. I was ready to crush this Monday. Then as I was getting my morning herbal tea, I ripped my sweet J Crew pink/red button down on a drawer. Nothing major, still going to crush it, I just had to switch over to a tucked in look to conceal the tear.
Mimi and Poppa picked the boys up from daycare today so I could go to J’s kindergarten open house. Looks like a nice school. I think it will be a great community to raise the kids. Saw a friend from work who will also be sending her daughter to school at Moraine. I had to fill out a card about J to give to school and they asked what he enjoyed as far as learning goes. I said maps and numbers. They asked what books he was reading and I said he was doing the Bob books, though we haven’t done those in a while. Need to get back into the reading routine so J picks it up.
The boys were chilling on their tablets when I got home. Then after Mimi and Poppa left and it was time to go to bed, they amazingly got hungry again. So I gave them a cheese stick and their leftover McDonalds. They were running around like wild animals while I was trying to get them to brush their teeth. Whenever I want them to do something I go into super angry guy voice mode, which can’t be good parenting. My dad used to do that and it scared the shit out of me. It’s easier than thinking of the right threat in the spur of the moment. Like, “If you don’t start brushing your teeth in five seconds, I’ll lock you in your room for the night”. Or I’ll take away your morning fruit snack, or your tablet. I hate having to threaten, but is there any other way? It’s not like I can just ask them to do something and J will be like, “H, did you hear that? Dad asked us to get our PJ’s on and brush our teeth. Let’s do that right away because it’s important for our sleep comfort and dental hygiene. Plus Dad asked us, and he knows what’s good for us”. We read Toy Story 2 and some peek a boo truck book for babies that’s been ripped apart. J was stinky tooting the whole time but wouldn’t poop. H aggravated his infected knee trying to do some weird somersault into his bed. That boy is a wild man.
They finally went down around 9:20. Now it’s my turn. I did my best today and I’ll do it again tomorrow.
The Family Record 