5/8/19 – Wednesday
Celtics season is over today. Bucks won in five. A Star is Born was pretty shitty. In the morning when I drop you boys off at daycare I always tell you to have fun and be nice to people. Lately I’ve been throwing in listen to your teachers and give everything 100% effort, but I don’t want to muddle the message too much. Have fun and be nice to people pretty much covers it.
I think a lot about how much I love you boys. Usually after I drop you off and I’m in the car on the way to work after the teachers have had to peel you off of me. I don’t want to leave you either. I want to take you out of there and go to the zoo. I imagine how your day might go. This morning I heard one of the kids tell J he liked his new haircut and that he looked handsome. You boys are out there in the world of daycare every day. I worry you get sad. The teachers say you get happy as soon as I leave, but I’m sure you have moments during the day when you wish you could just be with mom and dad instead of with all those people you don’t know as well. I have those moments too. I was always pretty sensitive. Like if my mom was the last one to pick me up I’d get sad. And I used to wish my Dad didn’t work so late. Sometimes he’d get home from work early on Friday and play HORSE with us. I want you to know that even if I’m not there all the time, you’re my number one priority in this world. I’ll take care of the expected stuff like food, clothes, and shelter, but I’ll also show you how to have fun, work hard, and be nice to people. Beyond that, it’s mostly up to you. I’ll get into whatever you’re into and help where I can. I hope you’re comfortable telling me how you’re feeling about things. I might not be able to help you, but I can always give you a hug. Tonight, I was staring into H’s eyes as he was laying in his bed. He kept his gaze right on me and we had a good old staring contest. You’re not a mind reader, but my eyes were telling you I love you and I’ve got you.
The Family Record 