Tag: discipline

No Discipline on a Wednesday

5/15/19 – Wednesday

Pretty standard Wednesday. In the morning H and I had bowls of granola and watermelon slices while J and Mom got a little extra shut eye. J & H ignored our requests to get your shoes and jackets on and get in the car as usual. (Sidebar: Why the fuck do the kids not do anything we tell them to do? I hate being the bad guy. I hate having to think of shit to take away from them. Lately we’ve been taking away books at night. Books are good for development so I need to come up with something else. I don’t like threatening to remove TV time in the morning because if I have to follow through on that then the alternative is they get a bunch of toys out that will then require an extra five minutes of cleanup I don’t have. When I do Google searches asking how to get kids to do what you want it says not to repeat yourself, use fewer words, see it from their point of view, don’t talk until you have their attention, and stay calm. It must be fun for the childless to write that bullshit. I hate losing my temper, but I don’t know what to do aside from working toward becoming a licensed hypnotist. Tomorrow I’ll try to get on their level and make it super fun then I’ll report back.) J cried the whole way to daycare because he meant to grab a third bag of fruit snacks and I wouldn’t let him go back in and grab them even though mommy had said he could. So bad daddy was in effect. Zero sympathy from me. I told him crying was pointless and turned up the music. Then I made up a song about J crying, which eventually made him laugh and stop crying.

We had a house showing tonight so we had to be elsewhere. After H’s soccer we went to McDonald’s because they have a play structure. It was so much better than last night when we went to a trendy new rooftop bar and spent 3.5X as much. The food was junk and we had the only kids in the place, big thumbs down. McDonald’s play structure had plenty of padding so we could let them go with limited supervision until the coast was clear to come home. As always the day ended with hugs, kisses, and I love you’s, as it should. I’ll now continue watching season 7 of Game of Thrones.

Secret Cookies & Kindergarten

5/2/2019 – Thursday

H successfully avoided his third straight day of getting a time out at school for roughing up his buddy. As J would say, he was being bad H, and we want good H. H woke up when I did at 5:30 this morning. He stayed behind with Mommy for breakfast (toaster waffle with bananas and syrup on top) while I went off to Orange Theory fitness where I managed to not shit my pants.

Mom picked up J at school early so they could go check out his future kindergarten class together. He loved the toy cars selection so it should work out for him. I picked up H at daycare then we met up with Mom and J for dinner while some potential buyers took a tour of the house. H was crying because mommy wasn’t there and he didn’t want to go out to dinner and his foot hurt and he wanted to hold his medicine and he wanted to buckle his self in. That 5:30 wake-up call was biting him in the ass. At dinner H was running around the restaurant like a crazy man. I thought he was trying to find a corner to hide in to take a poop. So I carried him to the bathroom and put him on the potty in hopes of a clean deuce since I didn’t have any extra diapers. Hysterics ensued and there would be no potty poop, luckily there was no poop in diaper either.

I was on solo bedtime duty tonight so mom could get her hair did. Both boys were cray cray after tubby time. I was getting frustrated and starting to lose my patience. I didn’t scare them with any wild outbursts of rage, but H did lose any chance of a treat tomorrow and I pretty much had to hog tie him to get his jammies on. I gave J my phone while I put H to bed. We had a deal to split a cookie together after I got H down. We had just finished our delicious cookie mom brought back from San Diego when H burst into the kitchen, having picked his lock. Luckily he didn’t notice and I told J not to blow our cover. I discreetly wiped up the rainbow sprinkles and H was none the wiser. Sucker! H escaped his room three times before finally settling. I read J Cars 2 for the 3rd time in the last week. His favorite scene is when Mater goes to the Japanese toilet and he acts out like he just took a huge poop. He learned everything he knows from me.

Solo Dad

4/29/19 – Monday

Mom is in San Diego for the Gartner Consulting conference so I’m in super Dad mode. H crawled into bed with me around five this morning and not much sleep happened between then and 6:20 when I got in the shower and turned on Blaze and the monster machines for him. When I was done with the shower J had joined H in our bed. Aside from the standard teeth pulling about teeth brushing, getting clothes on, eating, and getting out the door; it was a pretty good morning and I was ready to kick ass. On my way into work I listened to a book called “You are a badass”. I was ready to crush this Monday. Then as I was getting my morning herbal tea, I ripped my sweet J Crew pink/red button down on a drawer. Nothing major, still going to crush it, I just had to switch over to a tucked in look to conceal the tear.

Mimi and Poppa picked the boys up from daycare today so I could go to J’s kindergarten open house. Looks like a nice school. I think it will be a great community to raise the kids. Saw a friend from work who will also be sending her daughter to school at Moraine. I had to fill out a card about J to give to school and they asked what he enjoyed as far as learning goes. I said maps and numbers. They asked what books he was reading and I said he was doing the Bob books, though we haven’t done those in a while. Need to get back into the reading routine so J picks it up.

The boys were chilling on their tablets when I got home. Then after Mimi and Poppa left and it was time to go to bed, they amazingly got hungry again. So I gave them a cheese stick and their leftover McDonalds. They were running around like wild animals while I was trying to get them to brush their teeth. Whenever I want them to do something I go into super angry guy voice mode, which can’t be good parenting. My dad used to do that and it scared the shit out of me. It’s easier than thinking of the right threat in the spur of the moment. Like, “If you don’t start brushing your teeth in five seconds, I’ll lock you in your room for the night”. Or I’ll take away your morning fruit snack, or your tablet. I hate having to threaten, but is there any other way? It’s not like I can just ask them to do something and J will be like, “H, did you hear that? Dad asked us to get our PJ’s on and brush our teeth. Let’s do that right away because it’s important for our sleep comfort and dental hygiene. Plus Dad asked us, and he knows what’s good for us”. We read Toy Story 2 and some peek a boo truck book for babies that’s been ripped apart. J was stinky tooting the whole time but wouldn’t poop. H aggravated his infected knee trying to do some weird somersault into his bed. That boy is a wild man.

They finally went down around 9:20. Now it’s my turn. I did my best today and I’ll do it again tomorrow.