Tag: parenting

Solo Dad

4/29/19 – Monday

Mom is in San Diego for the Gartner Consulting conference so I’m in super Dad mode. H crawled into bed with me around five this morning and not much sleep happened between then and 6:20 when I got in the shower and turned on Blaze and the monster machines for him. When I was done with the shower J had joined H in our bed. Aside from the standard teeth pulling about teeth brushing, getting clothes on, eating, and getting out the door; it was a pretty good morning and I was ready to kick ass. On my way into work I listened to a book called “You are a badass”. I was ready to crush this Monday. Then as I was getting my morning herbal tea, I ripped my sweet J Crew pink/red button down on a drawer. Nothing major, still going to crush it, I just had to switch over to a tucked in look to conceal the tear.

Mimi and Poppa picked the boys up from daycare today so I could go to J’s kindergarten open house. Looks like a nice school. I think it will be a great community to raise the kids. Saw a friend from work who will also be sending her daughter to school at Moraine. I had to fill out a card about J to give to school and they asked what he enjoyed as far as learning goes. I said maps and numbers. They asked what books he was reading and I said he was doing the Bob books, though we haven’t done those in a while. Need to get back into the reading routine so J picks it up.

The boys were chilling on their tablets when I got home. Then after Mimi and Poppa left and it was time to go to bed, they amazingly got hungry again. So I gave them a cheese stick and their leftover McDonalds. They were running around like wild animals while I was trying to get them to brush their teeth. Whenever I want them to do something I go into super angry guy voice mode, which can’t be good parenting. My dad used to do that and it scared the shit out of me. It’s easier than thinking of the right threat in the spur of the moment. Like, “If you don’t start brushing your teeth in five seconds, I’ll lock you in your room for the night”. Or I’ll take away your morning fruit snack, or your tablet. I hate having to threaten, but is there any other way? It’s not like I can just ask them to do something and J will be like, “H, did you hear that? Dad asked us to get our PJ’s on and brush our teeth. Let’s do that right away because it’s important for our sleep comfort and dental hygiene. Plus Dad asked us, and he knows what’s good for us”. We read Toy Story 2 and some peek a boo truck book for babies that’s been ripped apart. J was stinky tooting the whole time but wouldn’t poop. H aggravated his infected knee trying to do some weird somersault into his bed. That boy is a wild man.

They finally went down around 9:20. Now it’s my turn. I did my best today and I’ll do it again tomorrow.

About Them

J, you’re five and H, you’re three, so I guess whatever happened in your life to this point will remain a mystery. It should go without saying that I love you as much as I love anything in the world. The kind of love that when I think about it, it makes me cry, because it’s too much.

J, I would say you’re a bit more cautious than H. You’ve only been to the ER once and H has already been thrice. We took you when you had a virus and high fever when you were a baby. If it were up to me, you’d have zero ER trips but mom wanted to make sure you were okay. You’re the type of five year old that doesn’t mind doing his own thing. You don’t like taking orders. You’re good at getting other people to do what you want to do, you get that from Mom. You care deeply for the people in your life. Last week when we left Nana’s you cried because you were going to miss her. You tell me you’re sorry my Dad died and that you miss him. Tonight when mom had to leave for a business trip, four hugs goodbye wasn’t enough and you cried when she closed the door (After I pried you away from it). You’re really smart. You are good with numbers and really into maps. You say “I know that” a lot when I tell you something. I’m not sure if you really know or just don’t want anyone to think you don’t know. Mom and I are working on tougher discipline for you. If we say no treat, tv, or tablet, we’re trying to follow through. It’s hard, part of me wants to give you everything you want and the other part wants you to do as your told. Tough love with a heavy dose of love I guess.

H, you’re a snugglebuddy. You love to cuddle, kiss, and hug. You smile all the time. You make really funny faces. You do everything your big bro does. You’re a tough cookie, but you’ve had some accidents that have landed you in the ER 3 times. The first time you were around 1.5 and you got into the recycling and sliced your finger on the top of soup can. It was first thing in the morning and I was on the shitter. Mom rushed in with you and that index finger bleeding all over the place. That was a fine how do you do! I think you had to get around seven stitches for that one. It took four nurses and me to hold you down, plus enough drugs to knock down a seven year old before the doctor could get to sewing. The second time was a month ago. You, me, and J were playing Transformers on my bed and I fell back on you awkwardly. It knocked the wind out of you and you couldn’t catch your breath. I remember your face being frozen like you were trying to cry but no noise was coming out. Then as I hugged you and tried to comfort you, you went limp in my arms. I laid you down and the blood drained from your face. You had fainted, but I didn’t know what had happened so I yelled to Mom and she called 911. By the time the police, fire truck, and ambulance got here you were coming out of it. Mom had me take J out of the room because he was so scared, so I didn’t get to see you come to. I had never been more scared. We went to the ER to be safe and they confirmed it was a “vasovagal” response to not being able to catch your breath. Needless to say, Daddy is now done with all forms of horseplay. No more horsey rides, transformer fighting, or body slams. The third trip happened yesterday. We were in S.C. last weekend for Easter and you fell and skinned your knee while playing with the cousins. Nana cleaned it up and we didn’t think anything of it. At school this past Wednesday – Friday the teachers said you were complaining of your knee hurting. Your limp got worse and worse. Mom thought the bumps that were starting to form around your cut were a sign it was infected. She was right. I called the doctor on Saturday morning, and the doctor sent us to the ER to get it checked out. You had a 103 fever. Luckily the infection hadn’t spread to your joints. That would’ve meant we’d have had to stay at the hospital longer on an antibiotic IV. As it was, they gave you fluids and a little antibiotic in an IV and then sent you on your way. Now you’re taking oral antibiotics three times a day (Keflex). I should’ve watched the cut more closely and been more vigilant about keeping it clean. You can blame me for two out of your three ER trips. I don’t think you would though, you don’t seem like the type to hold grudges. You’re a fun-loving, laid back dude. You always want to help mom and dad with our chores.